All Comments on 'Puma Sessions Ch. 05'

And the locksmith got you past the changed locks? How about finding Tom's wedding band on tbe big brown envelope on the kitchen counter?

Just a repetitive barrage of low grade sex from a pathetic horrible woman.

The husband and children are somewhere in the background, just vague figures. Hubby is apparently older has a heart condition and overweight, yet he is allegedly having an affair! The whole thing stinks.

Taken as a whole, there is little to no interaction with her husband and children. Fir all intents and purposes, she’s single...which takes away from the thrill of cheating. There is no comments from her husband about her jewelry or tats? There doesn’t even seem to be any emotional attachment to her family, they are only there as props.

The whole reason he pursues married women is because they have more to lose; but at no point does she even think about her family...and we heard about her entire morning. There were no concerns that she is getting in over her head. No worries that her husband will find out, no thoughts of her children...she literally sounds like an -8 yr old teenager who just happens to be in her 30s.

If you’re going to write about older married women, you need to add in the things that would concern them: their insecurities, their families, even if she hated her husband and was planning on leaving him, she would still be concerned about his reaction to new piercings and tattoo. Hell, she should be because as Lolo said, she has it until the day she dies and when she’s 60, is she still going to enjoy her faded and stretched out tat?

Like I said, you’ve done a piss poor job about showing us that she is a wife and mother.

so when does the husband find out he has a whore for a wife and toss the slut to the curb never to see her again and him and the kids leave and live some where else without seeing the whore again

I recommend you ask yourself: "What am I trying to portray and convey in this story?" and then immediately ask "Who is my audience?" That's a useful beginning. It seems may of your readers have found your writing entirely unappealing and the comments give some good clues as to why such comments were made. I think one of your basic difficulties is poor, incomplete character development. You treat the husband and children as if they're stage props -- like a nondescript end table and chair. Because character development is lacking, creating any dramatic tension isn't really possible. What we have so far is a supposedly older woman who gets induced into an almost-unimaginable sexual relationship that becomes addictive. But without any of the believe-ability that makes for a good work of fiction.

Someone once said about a flailing author's work: this isn't writing; it's typing.

These bitches doing too much giggling . It's like they know how silly this story is.

Nothing like fucking the older married mom when your young and there are always a few available. The vacation spots are great because people get out of the norm drink yo much or try to party like they did when they were young. Spring break spot we’re ten times crazier also but nothing better than people you know. A school teacher , a friends mom, a parents family friend , a neighbor a girlfriends mom etc.. It’s the total dominance over someone who is taken or married and have them submit and beg. A guys mom from the area who thought she was in control at a bar with her friends made like she was a little tipsy and fucked one of the guys in the car . Two others were taking pics . After that day control shifted and the 3 of them fucked her individually or at the same time whenever they could . They used her in every way possible sexually and demeaning way you could . Guys even felt bad for the hubby who was a good guy and the two sons and daughter. The guys were younger than her sons and same age as the daughter. Good story as Nd wondering if it’s true .