by Mingemuncher
Love what you’re done so far, but as soon as I saw this was a two-pager I thought, “Nope. This won’t be the full party. Can’t possibly be.”
Proved right again!
It’s odd to have a chapter break in the midst of a “scene”. Can’t really understand your purpose or why you thought this would work better than publishing the entire incident.
So good to be reading The continued exploits of your three MCs. You do such a good job of developing them, that I feel I know them. Doesn't hurt that you craft some great sex scenes. More, More, More