All Comments on 'Chapter 09 - The Big Question'

So the structure here makes it hard to read this:

"Following him to the bathroom, he picks up two Velcro cuffs from the counter and puts them on my wrists."

The shift of subject from Julie in "Following him to the bathroom" to Ben in "he picks up two Velcro cuffs..." is jarring. If you instead wrote:

I am following him to the bathroom. As he leads me, he picks up two Velcro strips from the counter and puts them on my wrists.

That is much easier to read. The period and the explicit callout of the subject in the first clause does a lot of work. I added the "as he leads me" to further place the two characters in the scene. I understand the temptation to try to shorten the sentence in order to make the scene feel more immediate. But it doesn't work.

The following paragraph does something similar:

"Standing on my tiptoes, Ben made sure I could view him in his entirety as he worked up a lather to wash himself."

Here you might instead say

Standing on my tiptoes, I could view Ben in his entirety as he worked up a lather to watch himself. He had made sure of that.

or

Ben had made sure that, standing on my tiptoes, I could view him in his entirety...

It's just a lot more readable if you don't shift subjects mid-sentence.

Commenting on comments is not my style, but in this case I feel I must. Julie bound and collared has written 18 terrific chapters about the relationship between Julie and Ben. TheMoonIsLikeTheMoon has nothing in his/her library of stories, yet believes he/she can knit-pick the writing style of a wonderful writer... Fucking amazing!!

JulieBoundandCollared I hope you keep doing what you're doing, as it's been a great read!!