All Comments on 'David and Becky - Resolution Ch. 02'

keep it going doing great hope he gets more revenge on both Becky and Josh and maybe even the prison and guards and Madam Popescu

I still think Cassie is an inside job and that Elena is setting him up to an even bigger and more devastating betrayal. Still I want David to be happy and Becky to be punished. Looking forward to the next part, can you upload every other day just as you have been. I really enjoy this

All I can say is well done, superb

Well now there’s a twist I wasn’t expecting.

Good stuff so far Olly, can’t wait to see how you tie this whole adventure together.

Enjoying the turn intrested to see if they get back at any point

Ignore the naysayers Olly, I think this keeps getting better. Is David being set up for a bigger fall, or is he going to be happy? But how will that "happiness" reconcile with his obvious need for domination in some form or other.

Can't wait for the next part(s).

Please keep writing, and thanks

I’m really liking David getting some happiness. This has been good so far. I know at some point the “games” will return. But I hope it is as the title of the book suggests. Some form of resolution is made and the ending is happy. Im sure after all this olly wants a good ending for his characters. I doubt he would end the book with David being miserable and worse off than he started.

I guess we all know how Becky knew to call at exactly that moment ... and who was watching as David and Cassie did their thing.

Hey OllyT, as an aside, given the style of narration that you are using (first person POV, unfolding story line), the withholding of significant information from readers is something that is simply not done. That's because there is by design no filter between the protagonist's mind and the reader. It's understandable that we won't know what other characters are thinking or doing -- we only are privy to what David witnesses. But we need to always know what he sees, hears and thinks. The biggest issue with what you've done is how severely this damages the trust that readers develop for the writer. That has been shattered. What else aren't you telling us? There is clearly more. We are supposed to be experiencing the events right along with David. Only now we know that we haven't been. He made a conscious choice not to tell his lawyer or the judge about Elena allowing him internet access, for example. Surely he would have. He had the evidence of that, and he deleted it. It's okay for him to do 'foolish' things -- it's not okay for him to conceal them from readers. If one day you rewrite this story, this needs to be fixed. Were you using 3rd person limited POV, it wouldn't be as much of an issue -- but you are not, so it is. I did something similar with my first novel. I didn't reveal in the first chapter that the protagonist was a widow at the young age of 27. I wanted to save that for chapter 2 and reveal it via dialogue (no nefarious intentions as I fear you have). The Literary Agent that I was working with at the time wouldn't allow it. She termed it a 'POV cheat.' She required that it come up on page one -- to build trust between writer and reader. So now we know you have been playing us. What other sh-t are you going to pull on us going forward. What else went on during David's stay at Casavana that you have been sandbagging on? Inquiring minds need to know!

It's hard to read and I don't understand what I have just read.

Lots of repeating nothing forward.

Abllll - I don’t usually respond to comments mid story, but you bring up a relevant point about storytelling. The issue of hiding info from the reader did occur to me while writing, but I felt this story is written slightly differently to a straight forward 1st person view. It is the ‘publication’ of a diary without any added comments from the narrator. So, yes, info was hidden from the reader which generally shouldn’t happen in a 1st person format, but, no, for the way the story was being told up to the end of book 4 through the diary, this is how I decided to present it.