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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Lol

I love it.the twins "Love " each other but only so long as the daughter is the family fuck toy lol

Might just be the best story I've read

This is a excellent story, it was so good I hated to get to this point, I hope you continue this story. Each chapter got 5 stars from me, I would have given more if it was possible.

damn good read

love this one so far. but it needs completion.

An Enjoyable Story

The story was a fun, quick, easy read. Thanks to the author for sharing it.

What would have made it more than that would have been anger over his wounds, possible concerns about minor ptsd, grief over his mother, guilt and not having been there, a trip to the grave, an expression of frustration of not being able to get to the stepfather, etc.

I look forward to reading the second part and a third if there is one.

brilliant

really enjoy your stories and this was no exception,

WHAT IS THAT FOUL SMELL

I THINK IT'S A PUTRID PILE OF SHIT TRYING TO BE A STORY. YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A MATCH TO IT AND FORGOT ABOUT POSTING ON HERE.

Thanks for the feed back

Due to the contest deadline I didn't have time to have an editor look over the story. I will be submitting both of my stories for editing so that I can repost them. Thank you for the specific feedback so I can catch it next time as I write. At one point I had the sisters be named Vivian and Violet and that got confusing to write and read so I went back and changed Violet to Lilah.

too many -

name switches. if you don't want to proof-read, get an editor. distracting.

Part 3?

Is there going to be a part 3?

Spellcheck is NOT perfect...

You have an intriguing idea for a story. Unfortunately, you have a LOT of errors that stopped me from enjoying the story. I could not finish. You obviously did not run this by an editor, but since it's only your second story, that's understandable. I will point out 2 examples. First you said Lilah had worn "more reviling clothes". You obviously meant "revealing" but a spellcheck wouldn't have spotted it because "reviling" is a word; but it means "disgusting". Also you had "felling" in one spot instead of "feeling". Same thing: both real words, just the wrong one.

More of the same

Hysterical you think highschool
Girls are going to share a guy openly like that. Hysterical you think the one black man and family in an all white town is going to openly act like this in the racist US. Otherwise nothing new. Too short and no sex. And not sure where you have ever seen anything like this reoriented in the media Anonymous, but this is not remotely interracial dating This is a fetish

Oh yea!

A great start to hopefully a continuous story! Please keep writing & I look forward to the next chapter(s)!

Good start

This has the makings of a very sexy story. One most guys have fantasized about. Just to shut up the critics who come to a porn site and worry more about proper grammar than getting off, proof read the next one better. Can't wait for the next one.

OMG

Jasmine - loving this one

Keep them cumming
Love Carmella xxx

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