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Latest 15 Reader Comments

THIS Is amazing!

YOU really need to publish this outside this forum! I kept coming back to read more of this while taking care of my grandma and Yeah man this is amazing writing!

Make it as a script and see if it can be filmed!

Vanessa Henry (Nessa Davis)

Great story

Sure, it's typical PI fare so far, but I enjoyed and appreciated the well-written, obviously appropriately checked/proofed story.

Thanks bleep

I am looking for a mature man! I have a profile on another site - (http://bit.ly/2IQ4Oq4). I am a very cheerful person. If you like me, I will enchant you and more than once :)

I am looking for a mature man! I have a profile on another site - (http://bit.ly/2IQ4Oq4). I am a very cheerful person. If you like me, I will enchant you and more than once :)

great story

it had me glued could not stop reading,sad when it ended

Super!

Something tells me this fan of yours was also a marvel fan! XD

This was fantastic! I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more of this!

Disgusting

This isn't rape fantasy it's just straight up sexualization of a brutal gangrape and murder. It's a shame since the writing wasn't crap

More sex.

Can we get more intimate and passionate sex between Morgan and Sara next book?

Hm

A bit short, all things considered. I'd love to see more Morgan and Sara scenes.

interesting comments

Those not familiar with the creepypasta legend of The Slender Man should spend a little time looking it up on the Internet, and then some of this story will make more sense. This is one where one should not try to look TOO hard into clues and such (except for the gatherings of the I.C.'s various political enemies). The Slender Man was and is the real deal, and some of what has happened is not explainable by 'ordinary' means.

Can't Wait for the Next Story

The ending was somewhat unsatisfying in that the Slender Man of this story disappears completely with no trace except radiation after engaging Crowbar in hand to hand battle and lifting Crowbar off the ground. The only direction not looked at was up and explains the quick movement of the Slender Man of this story, meaning a robot or Doctor Octopus/Iron Man like suit that can quickly fly is the only logical conclusion as to whom the Slender Man of this story was. If this is so, then you would think that there would be more evidence left at the scene of the battle.

As to motive, the only motive I can gleam from this story is that the healing of the back of the Iron Crowbar, the unraveling of Bart Tomlin's psyche and/or the monitoring of the mental health of Zack Ridley were the primary motives and the kidnapping of the other children was done to obfuscate Zack Ridley's kidnapping.

If the unraveling of Bart Tomlin's psyche was part of the motive, then finishing off Crowbar's back had to had been also on the agenda, with Crowbar's blow to that Slender Man's head stopping the attack on Crowbar's back from being completed and healing him rather than harming him, with the monitoring of Zack Ridley's mental health also being a beneficial unintended result. If this less likely motive is the actual motive then Tomlin's ex-wife and/or the man who is living with her who is described as not the most savory of characters should be the main suspects.

If however, the monitoring of Zack Ridley's mental health was tied to the motive, then the healing of Crowbar's back by a means that the Crowbar would not otherwise do would also be on the agenda, and the unraveling of Bart Tomlin's psyche being the unintended result. This leads to the lead suspect being someone involved with Dr. Harvey P. Eckhardt's organization being behind the kidnappings and the healing attack on the Iron Crowbar in Point Hollow.

Whatever the case may be, the kidnappings of 5 of the 7 children including Susie Haskins seem to be done to throw off the investigation and not to be linked to any motive but does point to someone familiar with the Crowbar's cases and meetings, as does the moving of the discs from the Crowbar's safe to the MCD office.

I hope there is a priya sex scene soon

GOOD TIMING FOR END OF SLENDER MAN

WW, great story that had to be written as Slender Man had had his day and I feel that the healing shot he received when taking on Slender Man had been is mission in stalking the IC. If his spine has been healed and they say it is aw well if not better than before, then they did not say when before was just for us to read before this altercation, maybe it has healed to prior to his army jump days, meaning he could be an even more serious foe to come after the bad guys who think of him as a weekend haf person.
The Council was pre-set to shoot down the medels as his friends on the Council are needed more now to try and undermine and understand what their next play or moves will be. The more public comments are made by certain people who sit on or chair committies who are supposed to be unbiased will show up if and when ICs very quite but able lawyer gets to grip with it.
I can also see that there will be a load of leaked documents about the government and certain congressmen/women as well as Senators just at the right time to save the IC and give his new high powered team of angels some genuine credit.
Great read 5x50 for the score. Iceman

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