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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Finally giving up....

Dear Prolonged_Debut,
I never like to say this. But I have to. The story has potential, but it's been completely ruined by the character development(which is bipolar and schizophrenic, seriously), and the dialogues. Oh God, the Dialogue! 99.99% of it is totally unreadably boring. The rest is unrealistic. This site has many good authors, a lot of whom excel in banter-writing. I guess you should read those.
I won't Even (hehe) touch the grammar and spelling mistakes with a 10 foot pole.
If you could get an outside opinion from a volunteer editor, oike the ones we have on Literotica, and start the story from scratch, it would be a great story.
Please do look into it.
With regards,

forget dem or rep pick your brother up,it makes you feel good

this is the united states and not separate states of a America.read the story and learn.i'm ready for another chapter.

I couldn't vote

Every chapter deserved a 5 but the site only accepted my vote on 3!


I love it. Another ripping good yarn. Sure needs a polish to make it really sparkle but it takes a real talent to have a story this good. Anonymus is obviously someone who is expert (x = unknown quantity & spert= drip under pressure) yes a seal may have had nato calibre weapons but is more likely to have weapons that are accurate and suitable for game and areas hunted .......... like most shooters.
Read it thru in one go. WELL DONE.

Can you spell

fiction dear annony. God you're such an asshole. 5 for effort and content toa good story

Happy people don't cheat.

Premise is stupid, Happy wife loves husband, everything is perfect. Handsome guy walks in and she just has to have him. He doesn't play on her weaknesses, vulnerabilities, he is just a nice guy. All of a sudden her husband just doesn't do it for her. So in a few weeks she goes from happy loving wife to slut for no reason. This is crap, people don't work this way unless they are broken in some way. When your happy no new guy turns your head. When you have good sex it doesn't end because you see a pretty face. Tell a believable story next time.

Fun Story

Without his direct intervention she would still be happiliy fucking her lover though.
He would be number two.
Not a bad job of polishing that turd. At the end of the day it's still a turd though.

"Why did you let Tim fuck me? I thought I was precious to you."

Always the critical question. And the answer is, . . ., because he doesn't love and respect you, he is only using you for his own pleasure. Couldn't read more, didn't need to, except to confirm that she dumped the bastard who gave her to another man. Good. Rest of the story? Stupid.

Mindless drivel.

Incompetent and talentless. 1* !

NO !

Fanfare IS a pompous idiot ! One of the worst. Just read the cretin's stories. This drivel? 1*.

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