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I never cease to he amazed at the wonderous worlds the top tier of authors bring to this site. We are blessed that you all choose to take us along on these adventures. May the muse keep you filled that you continue to walk us along the paths with you.

Gee Wizz, on this site you can find some real gems?

Yup, well written. You had several major topics going at the same time and they were blended smoothly. Well done.


This is a difficult story to comment on...

It is a deeply disturbing story, but not in a negative manner. That it IS disturbing, is a testament to your ability to describe the human condition.

Utilizing gender reversal helps the description process, allowing the message to be heard without distraction.

We are a strange creature, we humans. In college, my girlfriend had a game called 'Blacks & Whites'. It was not a emotionally or socially 'safe' game; there was a LOT of uncomfortableness in the game. It was brutally honest, for certain, about the interactions and social problems of race.

There was an African American couple we were friends with, and on a handful of occasions, we would play the game. But, just to make it even MORE uncomfortable, we would trade roles. During the game, we would play as black characters in the game, and our friends would play as white characters.

We had a lot of laughs, but also shared a lot of powerful experiences. It's difficult to explain how absurd a situation can be when you hear a young, 20 something white woman portraying a black woman, and a 20 something black woman portraying a white woman in a racially charged interaction.

It was powerful, just as 'One in Ten' is.

Thanks for sharing your talent and creativity, and thanks for all the it takes to put together a submission at the quality level you do.


A story in the shadowrun universe that focuses on the magic aspects of that world? Yes please, sign me the heck up!


Please, share your criticisms anyway! :)

I've no idea what to call the Cassandra-blessing for now... but, it was a unique creation of mine. At least, I've never read of it anywhere else.

Oracle and blade

That was impressively oracular. I will be chewing on it along with Tatiana-the-smart-and-scholarly-one, Alanna and Talos until the reveal.
The blade of avoidance-of-death-taking-luck (do you have a better name?) is a wonderful touch. Is it unique in the genre? I have no recollection of such a blade in any previous reading.
(It is also my preferred form of luck. Checks pockets. No blade.)

No criticisms of the writing. There were a few minor awkwardnesses that might just be culture-mismatch. (Details if asked.)


When do you think you will have another chapter added, what a great story.... thank you

Ravishing Raven

A good enjoyable read. Well written with vivid descriptive sex scenes.

Agree about the bush

Nice yarn, but I agree that about the silliness about the bush, and some other stuff all related to the theme of underutilization of the brain and intelligence in all it’s aspects. An MD and in particular a neurologist for example (see next chapter) has to have a certain level of of intelligence, but can easily be deficient in other spheres of intelligence and knowledge. The idea that parts of are brain are not used is not true, and yet most of us are better at some things than others, and intelligence unfortunately does not always correlate with rationality, and more importantly empathy and compassion. So Mark and others despite being gifted in scorcery, may well be malevolent or simply ignorant and impulsive at the same time.


Why the hell would he leave them alive? They're effectively incapacitated, kill them so they can't come back later to cause more trouble! What the hell did they teach at this "Hero School?"


I had planned a longer version, but other stories have taken precedence (including THREE extensive re-writes of one that still needs work).

I have a continuation in my mind. Just need to find the time to get it done.


I have got to say that I wasn't sure where you were going in the first story. However, the series has developed really well. Looking forward to future developments.

Never a tl;dr for me ;)

Ivy, such wonderful thoughts on this chapter, how wonderful of you to say. Thank you! ^_^ I know setting the level on "Difficult" isn't a good thing if it's never shut off to give the mind and soul a rest, but it does allow for those following scenes to be much stronger and more deeply felt. 4 years later, and I still remember writing that first conversation with D'Shea and Auslan; it was the first time I *truly* got to show his brains and spirit behind the pretty face.

I am working on an improved release for sale, e-pub for sure, although I hope "print on demand" will be an affordable option. I love bound copies of favorite stories, too, if I can get them. The first book is 3/4 finished, and it's the biggest rewrite, rebuilding the beginning from the ground up. Of the 70K words I have so far, 35K of it is brand-new material, and the rest is "adapted/streamlined." New but very, very familiar. :) I expect subsequent books will be edited and released faster than this first one, but it's taking a lot of (enjoyable) work to better show what this series will become than the first, two short stories I posted here. ;) At least I have a book cover ready to go (to be unveiled later) and a title for Book One that fits: "No Demons But Us."

If you like, I post "Progress/Book Plans" stuff here that are for public viewing:
https://www.patreon.com/etaski_fiction/po sts?tag=Book%20plans

Thanks again! ^_^


1) Please update the status of Chapter 101
2) A suggestion i knew there was something that lacked in your writing style, i am no critique but i know enough to judge on this particular thing some people will agree with me some won't but you need to speed up the plot at least a little what i mean is you can't just describe every day of every week timeskips are necessary in writing maybe even hypersleep i mean we are talking about space travel, agreed tyat tachyon drive makes it faster than light, agreed that the timeskips you have kept fit in with the story perfectly and just extending them affects the intensity and other requirements of the plot but when you see the story overall you realise that the story has been moving too slow now the character development of john and everyone else required such a pace but moving forward i feel you need to quicken the pace a little bit mean each chapter should have a little more plot affecting content because you know if it doesn't happen then by the end of it all this may seem like an overly stretched story. Since the alliance is forming quite well i feel the battle of john vs john needs to come up fast cause if what others are thinking is right and that this progenitor that is laen..... (Sorry the name is too tough for me to remember) isn't the real enemy then then this pace slows down the plot development which is a negative since we have already entered the zone where the plot development becomes more and more thrilling and where there is thrill the pace has to be little bit faster.
3) you have encouraged me to put forward my oen story in front of the world, yes i have one eith a totally different genre sub type which could come out to be a good read but right now in real life i won't be able to truly give this story the time it deserves but come May i could start working on it and i would need help and i'd rather it be you
P. S. Please update the status of 101 it really hampers my focus not knowing the status and my final graduation exams are fast approaching so i need to study but TSM even if a chapter comes out in the middle of my exams i'll read it before i start my revision

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