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Latest 15 Reader Comments

screw the critics,

Good beginning !
What critics won't understand is that writers write for themselves first and for the free reading public second. If they want a different story then they should write it.
I would like to be younger with a prostate and a libido to fuel it !
I enjoyed the start and look forward to the sequels!

Too short

Would have liked a bit more heft to the first chapter. Well written and a good summary of what was going on to the main character an all that vignette style.

Tags

i really enjoyed this story and hope to see more chapters. i would suggest adding the tag "hucow" to this, being that this story is most definitely a hucow story, and i was surprised (pleasantly) at finding it under lactation and not the designated hucow section. Other readers of hucow literotica would be pleased to read this story, and may not find it otherwise.

Interesting

This reminds me of the Song of Albion book series in a lot of ways. Names based on accomplishments, protagonist like a fish out of water, etc. I'm interested to see where this leads.

Harsh

Its a good read, I gave it a ofour simply because its a little staggered and a little long winded for the time being. but I love the potential.
FYI, I want to see this guy kick some serious ass. If he is getting added, or even could apply to the special forces, he needs some serious hand to hand skill. the fight was good, but he could have easily handed an ass kicking. true it was a sneak attack so i'm not hampered by it at all.
keep up the work, work on the smooth style to help it flow and know I'm expecting good things
JC

Some critical comments to go along with the praise...

I rated this story 5 stars some time ago, and if there were more than 5 stars available I would have given it more.

But there are a couple of elements that I think make the story a bit flawed, especially if you were to turn it into a published book. (Or have you already?)

First, this seems to be an excellent mainstream science fiction novel with some gratuitous sex appended. Yes, the sex scenes are as well written as the rest, but they do little or nothing to advance the story line. They're just sort of tossed in occasionally to justify calling this an erotic story.

Sure, that's true of a lot of the stories on this site, but you obviously wanted to write more than a stroke story (full-length stroke novel?) and you succeeded. But the downside is that the sex becomes unimportant because of the strength of the core story itself. I can't remember now what I did the first time I read it but re-reading your novel, I found myself scrolling through the sex scenes to get back to the story line.

Maybe there's no cure for this without extensive reworking, but the sex would be more relevant if those scenes had something to do with the way the story developed. Something should happen as a result of the sex to avoid having those scenes seem like "now for a word from our sponsor" interruptions. (Yes, I'm exaggerating for effect LOL!)

Second, you're obviously interested in earth sciences, but you spend too much time and effort on chronicling sunrise/sunset times and the like. Again, if these things have something to do with the story, I'm not sure what it is. (I thought at first it might have something to do with prayer times, but that wasn't the case.)

The novel format you chose of course gives you the luxury of weaving more elements into the story, but neither of these two elements seems to have added much that contributed to the overall arc of the story.

Nonetheless, great job!

Lovely story

So pleased it was such a beautiful scenario. Makes a change.
Just wondered what happened to the pregnant ones and their babies.
I missed my vocation in Life. I assume when the female was finally dried up and reached her menopause, that she was well cared for in her declining years.

Overall, a great story, beautifully written. THANK you Milkytits.
xx Enteme

Com'n

i hate suspense!.pls complete the story

Roughly three years.

Congrats on life being good to ya but don't just leave a story hanging like that. Surely they have a way to mate and circumvent her being an enemy soldier.

Ha!

Yeah, Randall is another character of mine from a story that may or may not be appearing sometime soon. I made the mistake of writing two characters with very similar names at almost the same time. I have no idea how the hell his name got into this story though, because I'm sure I saw the mistake and did a word search for it. There must have been a few that slipped through the cracks! Oh dear, but oh well. Thanks for the reply and I'm glad you liked it! ^_^

retiredeoc

Outstanding storyline, content, structure, error free. Really great, hope you continue with the "The Warlock", maybe mention something about how she took your virginity, if that helps establish something of import to your storyline.
Anyway great story.

Fab Story!

A fun read. Got to love those alien Lifeforms! A great story that seems to get better with each chapter.

I really enjoy the serious-yet-not-so-serious tone of this series. I hope you continue working on it. Would love to read more! :)

Best shot story ever

I'm so impressed by your story telling. This is flawless and save it to read again. Wasn't this the contest winner on LushStories?

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