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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Sexy dream

Wow, we could all with a best mate like jake.
A nice appearance from vellete and the hope of a new girl friend, bookended by dreamy self gratification. Sounds like a great birthday to me. Brilliant Smokey, thank you.

wow

jasmine you left us wanting more you naughty woman . can't wait to read more about the pictures session , please don't make us wait to long. a truly great read as usual.
keep up the awesome work

Absolutely beautiful

I actually had to read this in 2 parts because the first half had me on tears thinking about somebody who I love but can't have which made it very real for me. I hope one day I find the happiness with her that Kait found with Emily. Thank you for such a fabulous love story x

on

Nice twist in a time of innocence

Having done something similar but as a male with a male, it brought back some memories of my one and only time when I was so naive that I had non-penetrative gay sex, ie doing everything other than anal. I did not know what my penis could do and where else it could go. Happy college life! Thanks for a great story.

Hot!

Excellent. I wish there was more.

Good story

Please continue on with the The fate of the other cop

A good effort

Quite a decent crime/suspense tale making a good read. But when setting a story in different time-lines or flashbacks you need to be more careful about the division or you're in danger of confusing your readers. And confused readers might give up on your stories. There are several tricks you can use to be clear about time-lines etc: for example it can be as simple as having headings such as "Now" and "x months previously". It helps too to have such headings in bold text so that they stand out. This apart, Skyler, a good effort.

Great narration. Push more on the compelling elements.

Great narration. Reminds me of the older literature written before 1920. That literature was very descriptive, made you feel what is was like to be there. You have accomplished that very well.

Newer literature pushes on the pedals of anything that compels our interest. Such dynamics very, but it's like when you catch up with your friends, one of which may have gone on a trip. At first it's wonderful to hear what it's like to be where they went, the food, weather, and people. But eventually they may get to specific occurrences whereby they met someone, who was charming or mean; they found themselves in a predicament--we love to hear about those, where you must make a choice that has conflicting consequences. These can be as simple as a romance, or something criminal or dangerous. These are the events that compel us to ask questions, take notice of, in this example, of our friend's vacation they are sharing with us.

Thus, I would have added more detail with what went on that made your main character really dislike her situation. How she got along with her forced arrangement husband. It sounds like he may have raped her. At the least, an argument among the couple would have been compelling. Or the children.

Alas, this first story appears to be backstory, a setup for something more. As if you were designing a novel. If that is your plan, then good, keep going. The most popular stories on this website ironically have the best drama and humor, not necessarily the sex. The sex seems better because of the conflict. In the case of romance, something that both parties recognize as an attraction but their life's situation says they shouldn't have sex. Such is the lore of the Romance genre, the genre that outsells ALL of the other genres combined. I believe that is because most people live boring, repetitive lives and long for a connection with someone...hell anyone, being romantic or sensual.

Good work!

UnderworldWriter

More!

I want more of her adventures for sure. It pulled me in!

Immersive

I am not sure if the build up was the real orgasm or the ones that followed. Blew my mind .. more please !!!
( Very good , love it 5 🌟 s )

Responses

To the Anomymous user:I'm sorry you feel this was stupid, but if you re-read my author's note, it explains my reasons for not using the "Transsexuals and Cross Dressers" catigory, and this wasn't an exhibitionist story. I also believe Trans Women can qualify as Lesbian so this was the most fitting catigory. In Response to Jenorma2012, I'm sorry this story wasn't to your taste. The tags list Humiliation, I missed the Femdom tag, perhaps this would have helped? I hope you find a story more to your taste but in the future I would like more constructive feed-back and I did not force you to read all the way to the end and then figure out it wasn't for you.

I adore it

Every single chapter, sentence and word of this story was amazing. I do not know what will I do without all these characters, every single one of them was so well written. Amber and Dani seem real. Their love seems so real. I also like the timeline because it keeps plot unpredictable. I can not wait to read more from you! Thank you

Not Great

This was a bit disappointing for me, honestly. I think it was because one second she's sitting in the police department, then the next thing we know we're inside this club where the Mistress is suddenly punishing Heidi for interrupting when she made it clear she wasn't going to make Heidi her slave or punish her in any way, but then she still makes Heidi her slave anyway. I defeats the purpose of having a second chapter if you were going to make it an actual series. Also, it kind of turned me off when she was also cheating on her boyfriend. A couple grammatical issues as well, not that it's too important, just maybe run through the story once more before you submit it for real.
Nice try though, Zayne.

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