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Latest 15 Reader Comments

good start

too many first ch. stories just jumps to the sex scene's by the middle of the first page, you really know how to build up a story first, can't wait for ch 2

Well done!

Love the slow burn, keep up the good work!

Absolutely delightful. 5 stars from me!


Why is this series so good. I wait and come back everyday looking for the next installment on this series. I just absolutely love Charlotte and Natasha's dynamic Wonderful job

Wonderfully written

Thanks dukexxx. I loved it and I can't wait to read more of your writing. I am especially looking forward to more of The Nerd.

Super hot sex

Mmm, your description of the sounds and sensations of fingers in pussies was amazing, so intense.

I loved the story!

Was well written, and plotted out. I loved the characters, and the settings.

Just one more time please

This is what usually happens when a girl finds out how great lesbian sex is
This story needs to be continued so that we can be able to see how the second time go's.
I have visions of dee.dee missing her flight back home and staying there for a few days really finding out more about lesbian sex
I long for the day that I can get away from everyone and everything so that I could explore what dee dee is learning.
I'm a closet lesbian and would love to find a blonde hair green eyed young single girl to teach me what it's all about.


I doubt you were trying to be malicious, but referring to Asian-Americans as "Oriental" is a bit like calling African-Americans "colored." It may have been appropriate once upon a time, but nowadays it sounds old-fashioned, condescending and borderline racist.

It doesn't gel..

Yeah there is no connection between the characters making it a terrible read. No build up, no suspense, no feeling. The fact that they have no real relationship to speak of and she pimps her out the first chance she gets is just aweful.

Great Start

Take your time with this one because its brilliant

"- This is very much an introduction to two characters. Focus is on, Zara, the younger of the two. Although there's a steamy section, the story may not be to everyone's tastes. So, if you prefer a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kinda thing this may not be up your street."

Get rid of that. It's pretentious, silly and irritates readers.

"The way even a smirk met her dark green eyes made, the younger woman's stomach flutter. "
Why is there a comma after "made"?
Please learn the proper use of the comma. You insert it randomly and inappropriately all over the place and render many sentences non-sensical.

"The author moved into the light, which exacerbated the greenness of her eyes " - "Exacerbated" doesn't mean what you think it does. Look it up.

I had a problem with categorizing

throughout most of the story, it's a non-consent, and should have been tagged as one, even with the twist at the end.
Some of us are sensitive to such things as non-consent. Even if they are only stories. Even if they are only fantasy fulfilment. Tagging it as non-consent gives us a chance to avoid triggers.


I'm really impressed by your story. It's an excellent start and I'm looking forward to more.

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