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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Too fast.

It started pretty good; it seemed like you wouldn't rush this; I liked that you described that Diane didn't feel attraction right from the start and framed her as a realistic straight girl, which I think is a refreshing theme. However then you made her instantly accept an almost-stranger intimately touching her. And that just doesn't make sense unless there is a huge amount of backstory we don't know of. But that doesn't fit with the comment you made suggesting that she doesn't feel attraction towards her.

At least I couldn't read past this inconsistency, because it just didn't seem real from that point on :/

I suggest either creating more build up (build up done right is be the most erotic things ever and it makes your characters grow with you) or remove the completely-straight-girl comment and hint at the fact that there has been some tension around these two in the past.

(Just to be clear: by build-up I mean hot little interactions between these characters before they have sex and NOT backstory. I loved that you characterized Diane through an interaction with her ex and not by spouting exposition, so don't think about changing that)

You had some cool ideas, but you just didn't give them the time and space they needed to be good; after LeeAnn touches her there ceases to be anything original to the story.

That being sad: please don't take this as rejection; I love that you write in this theme and I will always be willing to read them, I just want to give you the clearest pointer that I can give.

we waited long enough

For how long must we wait for chapter four

Most

Most Pleasurable. Sometimes it is the sex, not the story. You connected just the right amount of story for me to set the stage in my mind before I joined you in that orgasm as I had my own reading the story. We came together. Thank you. And her too.

Thank you's & Apologies

Thank you to Heisenhug for the comment and mental insight to Katie & Nathan. I sort of went off on a tangent voicing my frustration with Katie. I keep forgetting Loveyou18, that you're only 18 and this is your first story. It's easy to do since you've drawn me in with the dynamics of these characters, which is a testament to your writing. So I want to encourage you to continue and listen to your inner voice to guide you in writing this story. It is yours for the telling. Thank you

Nice

Enjoyed this story a lot and the way the MILF submitted so willingly. However, this story could go on for many more chapters. Like having the MILF seduce her own daughter, have either the teacher or mother of her friend seduce the MILF, so many option available.

Good job as usual.

I like reading the comment section cause it often lead me to wonderful stories like this, that I would otherwise not know about. I am so pleased with this story that I can't wait to read a follow up. YoungBeth, you're on to something and I hope you continue writing. All the best.

Thank you all for your time

I understand your feedback. Maybe I'm just not ready to be doing a series like this where it constantly continues. I haven't done enough research about a certain situation like this, but I do know one thing for sure. The way that Katie is feeling in the story, was the exact same way I felt when I got out of an abusive relationship at 16. I apologize for all the pity on Katie, I guess I just got carried away with wanting to tell how I felt when I was in an abusive relationship myself. I felt helpless, like it was my fault, and it took months to get over it. I'm still not over it. This is a way of me coping, and I'm sorry about that. Again, I'm so sorry for all the pity on Katie. I just felt like no one really knew how I felt, so I decided to put it on here. I'm so sorry for the disappointment. I don't know if I should continue or just pretend it never happened, to be honest, I'm a bit embarrassed and ashamed.

But thank you all so so so much for reading, voting, commenting, and everything

You should be telling your own story - beginning, middle, and end - rather than asking the readers to do your job for you. That's a sign that you don't have the foggiest idea how to end this thing, and that therefore we can look forward to a bazillion more chapters of Katie being a dysfunctional mess. Who wants to read a never-ending story about a totally unsympathetic main character? Others might, but not me. I'm out of here.

great job

Very nice story. I would love to hear your takes on the under-23 boys and the girl teams, that also sounds fun.

*Head desk* well, Lizzy, that's one way to get through to her and get the police involved at the same time. Not very bright though.

Don't discontinue it just because some idiots think this is a porn site ;)

I'd like to say that Katie is being unrealistic in her behaviour, but it does seem consistent with what I know of the denial based response to trauma and the Charismatic Abuser personality type.
For the former, people who suffer extreme psychological trauma, of which rape and attempted rape are good examples, can sometimes try to avoid processing the pain by trying to block the trauma event. That requires a denial response to anything related to it. She has to deny Nathan is a threat because accepting otherwise is too terrifying for her mind to cope.
For the latter, he's an abusive personality in a delusional state. He can't accept she doesn't love him, can't allow her to resist his attempts, and projects enough charisma that people are too easily sucked in by his "aura". Think Christian Grey in a teenage body, if that helps. Part of the reason he's so confident in being a dick is that he doesn't believe Katie will report him. Lizzy's response is the characteristic intervention approach needed to deal with his type. These kinds of abusers will seem attractive until you get a strong enough shock to jolt you out of a state that is kinda like being lightly drugged.

I don't know if the story is based on real events or just good characterisation, but it's frustrating because it's believable to anyone that's seen these kinds of behaviours in action.

Next chapter

So looking foward to the next chapter :) hope not to long of a wait

please continue..

But please give Katie some backbone... Love Lizzy that girl is a poster child of true love. ;-)

Ok this is ridiculous. Katie is mental - mentally _ucked up for her passive role against Jonathan. Why?? I'm getting frustrated with her denial and helplessness which Lizzy ends up trying to be her savior and getting in more trouble. The only silver lining in this story is Katie told her mom about her and Lizzy. Otherwise I'm loosing respect for the character, Katie. I think I will pass on the next couple of chapter and just read comments to see if it's of interest

Put us out of our misery

This is such a wonderful story and defines what is meant by erotic. It is often the imagined or wished for meaning behind everyday situations that are the most emotionally exciting. This is such a story and the yearning and emotional confusion pours through every line. Brilliant!
It has been over two years but I still check to see if there is a 2nd chapter. Please upload it if there is one or leave a note saying there will not be one. Just like the protagonist in this superb story, we have been left in an agony of anticipation.

I'm sorry

Should I discontinue the series?

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