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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Enjoyed the series so far

Would love to see you continue to develop the series, adding different challenges and forfeits the losers have to complete.

Tease

And?... good fantasy, could do with a little more manipulation maybe!
But great fun

yeah more ryan and monica stuff and maybe the siblings get involved with the non sexual side just the nude swimming side of the story

that's one way to find out your parents are nudists.....

The way we speak

As an Englishman of a certain age and education - nearly 70 - my speech is still much more formal than used by younger people, and the dialogue reflects the way that I talk.

nude swimming is something I'd like to do but haven't yet. loved the story so far. just about to read part 2

A happy little story

A nice light touch once again from the master of the light touch.

Lue

Plot Thickens!

Barbara Has a Very Interesting Group of Spies One in Particular! Great Writing!

Author's Note

Yeah, yeah, yeah, point taken. I wanted to have a continuous arc up after he discovered the wife's real feelings, so I skipped over another segment about the confrontation, which I wasn't sure how to handle well. I had a bad feeling about it, and apparently everyone else agrees with me. Let me rework it and see if y'all like it better. Thanks for the feedback.

Good with great potential

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. The plot kept me interested, and the descriptions were solid.

The dialog needs work, though. Much of it seems forced and doesn't have a natural flow of conversation.

Still, I enjoyed it and will read more of your writing in the future.

Combination Locks

Also; what kind of idiot starts guessing a combination lock with "1-1-1-1"? Anybody with any sense knows that somebody who sets a throwaway combination lock isn't going to set the combo to anywhere near "1-1-1-1". I would have either started with 9-9-9-9 and worked down, or started with 5-0-0-0 and worked up.

Great build

The writing is very good. The story developed very well. The ending, however, was anticlimactic. With all the details given in the first 7 pages, why trickle off the ending?

Flameout! Eject!!!

What a great story - for the first 6 3/4 pages. Then it just ... stopped. Stalled. Stall, spin, crash, burn and die. No climax to the story (plenty of climaxes IN the story, but nothing that resolved the issue) and it just .... flamed out.

Sorry; keep up the good work, but this story needs a real ending. Perhaps you can repost a revised version.

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