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Latest 15 Reader Comments

catching!

This needs a sequel soon!

*Slow hand clapping*

I read all seventeen chapters in one sitting. I literally couldn't stop reading and a bathroom break was taken most begrudgingly.

Fantastic work Jaz.

Amazing and brilliant! I look forward to another chapter, I can't wait!

I didn't want it to end! I'm ready for the next chapters!

If I can make a suggestion:

I enjoy reading from Tala's Bestiario. The excerpts you've included are all placed perfectly in the story to slow things down, focus on plot and foreshadow what is to come. The excerpt that came directly after Tala and Buhawi were hit with poison arrows seemed misplaced. For me, it stopped the story, dissipated the tension you had set up and it seems unlikely Tala would be able to recall paragraphs and paragraphs of exposition while struggling to keep conscious. I thought you might have changed it in the revision so I didn't say anything in the last chapter.

That last scene with Tala and Buhawi was truly intense. My jaw dropped when she slapped him across the face and then immediately backhanded him! I knew she had it in her, but it still shocked me.

Welcome Back

I'm glad you've been able to see your difficulties through and are back with us again. Your stories are engaging and I look forward to the rest of this one. I get falling in love with the writing style of another and having a go at emulating it but your own writing style is engaging, strong and direct. I like it very much. For this story, I find that leapfrogging between past and present disrupts the flow. Knowing that our heroes survived their travails before actually going through the travails with them reduces the excitement of the build and took me out of the story. I began noticing the style rather than experiencing the story. Fortunately, the characters are strong enough for me to want to know what happens to them next so I'll stick with this story and have patience with your experimenting (after all, you're generous enough to share, free of charge!). Kindest regards and welcome back.

Good start

The imagery in the beginning was second to none. Like the part that it went from emerald green to red and black.

Not sure why the other hounds, because they were created by the god of war, would have a desire for Core. Seems to me that the god instilled in Core the desire for only him, at least partially, but left out the part with the other hounds that they shouldn't desire her. Seems like a lack of oversight.

Also I see one of the tags is love triangle so I'm curious as to where this will go in later chapters. Thanks for the upload

Welcome Back; I have missed your story.

I am sorry to hear of your issues, but I am glad to see you back among the writers guild. Thank you for the detailed read. Love it. RHS

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Hope you are doing ok with the next chapter and that it will be up soon. I am looking forward to it as I have been with the rest of this story

Looking forward to more

Great edgy story,had me hooked till the end, looking forward to more stories about these two.
Well done Shirleyanne xx

Very good, well done on keeping the momentum going from Part1, looking forward to Part3 x

Great ending, IRTR. It is seldom that I get to read of an alpha going quietly in the the hereafter. I am just as excited about the new story line of the wolf/dragon brothers. :)

I'm going to miss this story. And can't wait to start reading what you have planned next.

You need a genie ...

You need a genie to grant you a wish that makes you capable of writing a story everyday.....

But till now its good....

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