tagFeedback PortalIllustrated

Illustrated Comments

Load newRequesting new commentsRequesting new commentsNo new comments, try later

Latest 15 Reader Comments

As someone critiqued before, losing track of what different main characters have going on is problematic- the daughter disappearing for most of the weekend comes to mind. I think this could be solved by doing a simple webbing with each character before writing, to make sure if they are elsewhere that it's addressed so both writer and reader don't forget about characters. Did she meet the son's biological Mom? How did that go? Also, the daughter is horrified that her things have disappeared, and hates having yet another master, her fourth or fifth?!, but she has her car and could've left or lived in it. We're given no reason why she wouldn't. Master X not getting revealed is starting to feel pretty pointless, especially since deals are made to make Jesse not prostitute herself and do porn, only to see that totally changed shortly after with no explanation or even her questioning it. Since it's becoming clear that the only realistic result is for all of the women (and the dad) to lose their jobs / get kicked out of school once their very public activities are exposed, the fact that almost none of them are catching on or rebelling makes for head shaking while reading. The pictures are great, but the story line changing with no explanation and a lack of keeping track of characters is messy. That coupled with the story going from erotic with humiliation, pushing the bounds of characters- to brutal and mean with some humiliation and virtually nothing erotic anymore makes for a tougher, less pleasurable read. Finding ways to get rid of some of the many, many extra masters and slaves might allow the focus to get back to the main characters and get the story back on track.

Great illustrations!

Worth reading just for those raunchy drawings! I especially liked the one of the guy with his hand down the front of her thong and her nipples sticking up.

An Excellent Incest Illustrated Story But Not Much Else Uncordially ……

I’m so glad that you decided against ending the first chapter in a three way, because that would unacceptable and immature in my book.

Just a little something I want you to be careful of in the future, and that is your use of words such as ‘old’ instead of ‘hold’ or “I’ll Keep You To It”? And I mean this as a friendly advice and NOT an insult or that I’m bitching.

In chapter 2 I liked the Second unused picture I was some how drawn to it as if it was calling to me to hypnotize me, Unfortunate there wasn’t a way for you to use it in the actual story, but at least you used as one of the unused pictures, think you for that I enjoyed looking at it. In addition I felt like as if the Dom Daughter was kicking me in the ass. When I first saw that unused picture, again think you for adding it to one of the unused pictures.

Think you also for disguising what’s what in this story series.

I loved The Deleted Picture that you decided to show un in the third part, and you’re right it would have been right I’m glade that you went against using it, in the end.

In the Forth Chapter I wished the Shaving Picture where they where doing the act was more Zoomed in on the Teacher Shaving the Mother.

Just like with your pervious chapters I loved your Deleted Photos particularly the ones where the models that you wished was you. So Life Like.
You can have too much of a good thing you know? I enjoy puns as much as the next person but, I just feel like this story series is full of them, it’s starting to get to the point where I’m rolling my eyes and saying to myself ‘Oh you gotta to be fucking shitting me with this? Fucking more puns?! Fucking more puns?! FUCKING MORE PUNS??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................. ..’ And it’s not just with puns either.

I also feel like whenever the characters joke and kid around with each other I feel the same way, the best metaphor I could come up with is that. It is like you are a Movie Director and that you are trying to film a Horror Movie, and the end product being that it is overloaded with NOTHING but Cheap Jump Scares. NO PLOT, NO HERO, NO MEAT, and NO CHARACTER DELOPMENT whatso ever etc. For me with something like that it mind as well be a Universal or Disney World Ride or Experience. What I’m saying is that with each Pun or each time that the
characters joke and kid around with each other, I feel NOT ONLY the weight of the Sub/Dom relationship is diminished and now instead of a BDSM story it becomes a Lesbian Incest story. Not only that but the weight of the threat that the daughter is blackmailing the mom to make her submissive and to keep her submissive is gone. And it doesn’t make sense to me the Submissive mother is not allowed to cum but when she does with out her accord or her permission there is NO serious consciences except for more orgasm? It is like when a kid asks you if you could buy them a specific toy and you say ‘No’ but buy it for them anyways in the end with out them being whinny about it.
And I also feel that for this story series most of all the Title did not match the main Plot of that Chapter.

Look I DON’T say these things to a Bitch or to piss you off or anything in fact that is the last thing I want, I’m saying these things to MAKE you AWARE of what I think for me PERSONALLY could be improved in your story(ies).

There is no debating taste ....

That said, what makes this story great is the attention to detail. Especially in the artwork. The women are realized perfectly, even to the shoes. I mean it, the shoes are great. It tells you something about the women who are being forced to dress like sluts. Their behavior becomes more believable. Of course more people find out. That's life. People see things by accident or they're nosy. But word always gets out. The challenge here will be to see of Master X can collapse the house of cards and keep his harem intact and his pawns pushed off the board. Sadkins 116 and Rebbecam - keep up the excellent work. Toxis.

Anonymous comments

There seems to be several anonymous comments about how boring this series is. I hope that Sadkins and Rebecca are not put off by that as I am keen to keep following the story and see where it ends up. I do agree with one comment in an earlier chapter that the number of slaves and masters that are involved in this story is getting high particularly now that Jesse is performing in her classroom to her students. This will not end well for Jesse, Marcus et al.

5/5

Hoping this is the prelude to pics of your mom?

Great story

Loved the story, but what was up with those sandals?

Big shout out to this awesome writer

My name is Rohan, huge local Singaporean fan of this storyseries and so I contact the writer, "dercius" via a forum. After getting to know each other, he was actually willing to meet me with some of his mom's freshly warn shoes and undies. Had the best time wver jerking off with them and cumming on her shoes

Ya da Ya da Ya da

Time for a change. The same stuff over and over again. The only redeeming fact is the illustrations. If it wasn't for them, I would have quit a long time ago. More pictures.

Great story!

Keep it going..... I love the story line and great job on the pics!!!

Must read

Finally a firsr illustrated storyfrom this writer. Plesse do more illustrateds with pics of your mom

Insanity

What does this story have to do with fantasy? Who wants a relationship with a windup toy. Utter shite.

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel