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Frog on a slow boil.

Third Person

I disagree with saying first person is the best because it allows the reader to identify with the character easier. The same thing can easily be achieved in a third person story by describing the characters thoughts, feelings, and emotions. First person traps the reader inside of one head and only gives a reader one point of view. It can be effective, but makes telling the story harder. One technique I like to use, especially in a love scene is to switch the perspective from one person to the other and back again. It takes two to copulate, so describing how it affects each player adds to the eroticism. It would be nearly impossible to do that in first person. Each perspective has its merits, but I feel that third person allows for a richer story. Please forgive my typos, I'm typing this on a cell phone. GHD.


The bitch who wrote this really needs to get a life fucking gross

Got 'How To" Advice.

I would like to also recommend that Literotica stories contain no more than one-hundred word paragraphs. When one paragraph fills my entire screen I seldom read it, and just skip on to the next story that hopefully will be written better.

Second, I wish writers would simply read their work before they post it, or perhaps use a spell-grammar checker.


I agree fully with the previous comment. There are some excellent volunteer editors and I have on occasion been helped over difficult spots by some of them. They can be great with basic grammar and conventions, and can also suggest plot development. I am not sure whether there are any who are really great dialogue coaches. If anybody has found such an editor it would be good to share.


Nice to see you back because we are all selfish but willing to learn new ideas etc from our favorite author. Been a while since you have written also a while since I was here to read, first stop looking for anything new from you if there wasn't something older would suit me just as well.


On the other hand "Hamster" ...

... you could always go to Literotica; Index; Volunteer Editors and ask someone to give you one-to-one help and guidance with some of your half finished stories.

Very well organized and thoughtful

You may not use the exact same techniques that are discussed here, but they are excellent alternatives to "he said," "she said." There is no single best method of writing dialog. These are pretty damn good advice.

Anonymouses have opinions too!

I Wasn't trying to be over critical or negative In my previous comment on reader first person stories. Just pointing out that I personally can not connect to those stories. It makes me feel pushed or forced in to the scenario rather than allowing or inviting me to be drawn in or emerced in it. I do copy writing for living by the way. I write commercials for radio daily! I'm no professional novelist or great writer, but I do understand how to sell and idea in 60 seconds. First person in that area implies endorsement. So I never write copy in first person unless I am a character in the commercial and that's very rarely the situation. I cringe every time I hear a DJ say "we have the best selection" or "come see us at" (address follows). I guess that's why when I read "You" in a story here, it immediately makes me move on to the next story. As an anonymous reader, I still have an opinion. I feel I have every right to express it here. Thanks

The Hardest Part

To all you "Anonymouses" out there, hold your tongue until you have walked a mile in an author's shoes. How many of us actually paid attention in high school English? How many of us got better than a "C" in Freshman English in college?
Dialog is probably the hardest part of writing a story, and it is the single biggest reason that I have a whole collection of half finished ones on my computer. Part of the difficulty is following the "rules" for construction but the biggest issue by far is style. Having someone take the time to put together a "tutorial" like this is a real help for us amateurs.

First person

My good friend Anonymous does not like first person stories. I tend to agree with him much of the time. It is, however, interesting in sexual situations to read from the opposite side on occasion.

Here is one of my own stories written in what I thought was a fun twist on the first person idea, and also perhaps some interesting dialogue. What do you think of it, Anon?? enial-ch-01

Writing with reader in first person.

I guess to each their own, but I can not read stories where I as the reader am thrust in to first person. I want to be a witness to the story, not be put in it! Especially if the first person is a female since I am a man.
I'm no author, nor do I claim to have great skill at composing, but I do enjoy reading a good story. Leave the "I come to your room and open the door. YOU take me in your arms and kiss me passionately!" OUT of your story telling... Please and thank you!

Yes forebearance and compromise

You bear it to the fore and then compromise until she agrees -

Lol mush of that could be avoided by think first - then just shut the hell up heh

Personally ...

... instead of
"David gaped. "Did you just say my mom's hot? Tell me you didn't!"", I would have offered
"David gasped. "Did you just say my mom's hot? Tell me you didn't!"".
Just the addition of the letter 's' into 'gaped' increases the intensity of the reaction.

Much needed!

I was tempted to put four exclamation points after my heading up there, but your wise advice kept me from doing that! This is much needed. Thanks for writing it. I do agree with Anon that some even more basic stuff would be welcome too.

He omitted the correct form of his example. Many authors do not realize that the proper form is: "You took them for granted," he said. The comma almost always goes inside the quotation marks.

Also, note the subtle differences that can be wrung:

"You," he said, "took them for granted."

"You took them," he said, "for granted."

"You," he said accusingly, "took them for granted."

"You took them," he bemoaned, "for granted."

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