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love it

What great story. Would like to have know if Nicole child was a girl. It would be cool if it was and her and the other kids get a help message from the witch village. Just a thought.

i have been reading as often as i can for over a week.

i hope to finish this series this week...you have me hooked woman. im going to inhale everything of yours here.

A good first effort.

Imagery and character development are both good and the storyline is excellent... you could easily add another few chapters to this. I particularly like the plot twist at the end. Hope you'll carry this further.

Re: reread

That was for a near death experience when he was contemplating transferring magical power from Rose and Sandra to Sonya then nearly killing them (clinically dead). The casters would then heal them and release them from the slavery.

He can't do it though because of the emotions and intent he was feeling at the time they became slaves.

My question is why hasn't he drained any of the various evil casters to restore at least some magical ability to Helena. He has had ample opportunity to do so and could even fiddle with trying to make her a magical match to himself (al la him and Rose/Sandra or the twins together).

That would allow him to create even more stored spells as well as allow him to then fiddle with increasing the powers of Rose and Sandra (and allow them to store their own as well) once he has Helena to keep his rings powered.

He also hasn't really explored his ability to posses Rose and Sandra much. They know what he knows when he does but he doesn't know what they know. If he can make a mutual merge with Helena then he will know all she knows about magic (which is more than Rose and Sandra combined).

I am really hoping that Mara is a magical match to him as well. I keep hoping to see her join in the fun and be that perfect match but am dashed every time. It is becoming obvious that the great spirits want them closely tied together.

Oh well on to the next exciting part.


Six months and no new chapter.

Here's hoping opportunity and inspiration conspire together with the author long enough for us to see the end of the story.


I think we all want more like a lot more
if you can i would be very happy :)

Thanks for the feeback so far!

I didn't think anyone would read my story, this is certainly a pleasant surprise! Yeah you guys are totally right; I really don't have a clue when it comes to dialogue paragraphing XD I will most assuredly look into that, thank you guys. I have a passion for writing, but not usually the erotic kind. This was just a story I wrote for my girlfriend a while back. I had been reading a lot on this website and thought I might as well give it a little touch up and upload it for fun! But now I'm considering writing more... In the meantime, hope you guys enjoyed, and thanks again for the awesome support!

good story

futanari isnt my thing but I really love how you've developed the characters and so I've read each chapter. Your a good write and and you've made a story that captures all types of audiences.

I agree with the comment that the dialogue of the Olympians seemed to be somewhat too modern for being as old as those characters are. Other than that though, I enjoyed what I read.

JC's Return

Hey man, I cant believe I never noticed your stories have returned. Loving the clever twists and the refrences to your old work.
an idea maybe for you, Jessica seems to be a cross breed with a grudge. I was kinda thinking something along the lines of (at first) werewolf, but now im getting the impression its Emmet's daughter with Alora. Emmet beig a healer ad Alora's physique, combied with Emmet's origin for joining the paladonic knights being his father/mother was seduced by a succubus. Leading to Jessica's hatred.
Another idea that seems to come to mind is surrounding Marchosais/Reverend Chilton, he is a man tha tfights for balace, a give or take kind of person. and a dastardly one at that. In helping to save one woman, another one is taken perhaps? though I do admit that's a more see through idea, maybe a beter one would be to link in what remains of the Paladonic Knights to Varun. Marchosais aimed an arrow at them and might have some business to either rebalance them, or to finish them off, unfortunately that leads them back to Varun whom is being used by the Knights in disguise.
a few thoughts for you and i'll be checking in regularly to see when your next instalment is in


I'm rereading chapter 6 of Talla's Temple while waiting for the next chapter of Talla's Fallen Temple and I have to ask what is "Severe Service"?

Quite the sea tale

The sea monster is KRAKEN the ships like walnuts.

Seriously, though, you can write, but do need a bit of an assist. For example, in the paragraph where they are talking in the lifeboat:
"He had never really found anyone. [New paragraph here] Rachel was a little hesitant to continue; what if he doesn't feel the same way about me?"

When beginning dialog, even if it is preceded by lead-in words, it should be capitalized. And, such dialog doesn't need to be forced into paragraphs by themselves. Using the text above, this is how I would have separated these paragraphs.

"Look I've been thinking, I don't want to get rescued and find myself pregnant. I remember we didn't use a condom the other day."

At this Jason nodded, then replied, "Yeah, I was thinking about that, too. We can still have sex. I just can't finish inside you."

At which she smiled, then with that look in her eye again said, "I was hoping you would say that!"

Throwing aside the blanket, she carefully positioned herself over him, her pussy already wet with anticipation. As she impaled herself on his erect penis Jason groaned.
See what I mean? A few, minor editing fixes. When you change focus and/or dialog from one person to another, you need a new paragraph. By no means am I a grammar expert, but look at how the paragraphs are split, and the minor changes to punctuation.

I imagined her with a Lowlands accent and him with maybe a Midlands. Keep at it, and do your best to find someone. It can take a while, and people do it for free, so don't give up, be persistent. Best of luck. Story is jammy.

Just A heartfelt thank you

I don't do this often enough. Thank you Etaski. Thanks for letting me piggy back on your imagination. I really enjoy the worlds you make, the societies within the worlds and the tensions between the strong characters that are forged either in or because of socio-political forces. It is crafted in such consistent depth that it allows me to ponder amidst the characters long after I have devoured the installment.
I see all the prep work in the depth of plot.. I see the devotion of time with the amount of pages produced.. I see the commitment to quality in the finished product.. for what its worth I am saying thanks for your effort and I for one really enjoy and appreciate your work and the work the team you have assembled to help with your work produce..
Anyway nuff said

A Fan

I really enjoy it

This Series get better and better! I love the plot as well as the characters. It's sexy as hell but so much more, too! I'm glad that this story is far from finished!
Thanks for sharing!!!!

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