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When would Cael have had time to...

gain all of his knowledge of pop culture? I doubt he has had time to watch tv or a movie since his teens with all the, exhausting, lady time he (puts in). And every one of the references in the lie were fairly nerdy, no offence, making it hard to believe that Pamela had read/watched them also.
Still love the story. * * * * *

a chortilin' & a chucklin'

Another comedy of terror, FS. Your writing brings a whole new level of meaning to the concept of 'laugh riot'.

As for annoyingmousie squeaking complaintives about your abuseage of Gaul. "O'n chagere thioplougene gris'muo sho."

Love it, but..........

A bonnet is a convertible top, the trunk is a "boot". Just so you know. BTW, love your work!

I repeat....
Best Author ever!!


Thank you for the comments. most of your critics are valid. This was my first serious attempt and it is currently 6 part series I have put in up to part 4 and hope the story evolves better. A volunteer editor would be great so far I have had no replies to emails maybe now that a part is posted I will have better luck. Spelling I spent many days reviewing but apparently not enough. As for the character Josh I did a poor Job of what was in my head to put on paper this guy was so abused through his childhood by classmates and his sister sister setting him up to get beat up only to cum home and be disciplined for having blood on his clothes or torn clothes.This bitterness keeps popping up even though it is not the person he wants to be. Calling guys a fag was also part of this it was to raise a certain emotion nothing to do with being bisexual or gay. Apparently I have not portrayed that well. Thanks for the comments and I will try to improve thanks to your comments.

"Prendre soin de mon amour"

The above sentence sounds all kinds of wrong. I'm not a native French speaker, but "Prends soin de toi--même, mon amour" would be my choice. Don't use Google Translate to show off language knowledge you don't have. It doesn't work.

Thank you

Like always an amazing chapter . Cael & Pamela are gifted , they can transform a saint in a mass murder with their jokes , but better Javiera warn the agents who deal with them don't be to cocky because it won't be 7 - Up , maybe if they send 6 or 7 agents .


Please learn English. Please also learn how dialogue works. Please also learn how perspective works. Once you got that down, come back and post again.

It's Too Late Already

Sadly, this story is unfinished and seems to have been abandoned years ago. You've probably already read to the end of the first chapter before finding this comment so you're already sucked in.

Literotica desperately needs finished/unfinished flags for stories that show up right at the top...

Damn this is fun!

FinalStand, this is really a piece of work and I mean this in a very good way. I am having a blast reading it. I hope you are having a blast writing it.


Absolutely fabulous

Loving the dialogue in this episode...I had to choke down load guffaws repeatedly. Such a delight this story. No idea how you could ever finish it though!

You need to publish this shit. On the one hand, it's ridiculous on a lot of levels. On the other, you could probably sell tens of thousands of digital copies.

For the gods sake don't finish this story it's too good

One more reason to be thankful today, another chapter in my favorite epic saga posted!

Well played FInalStand for this to appear on Thanksgiving morning. I am well pleased.
I thank you and await more of your outstanding adventure.

Well than was good but now I need another fix.

Hate to be pushy.....but how soon is next chapter ready?

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