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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Keep it coming!!!

This the the best I've read. Your skills and story line are the best I've ever come across!

Good Writing

Well done! A lot of background done well before the raunchy action gets going.

Can't wait!

I love this storyline! More please!

I love this!

I don't know what it is about your writing that makes your stories seem more human and genuine somehow, but whatever it is, keep at it!

Mindless drivel !

Pompous and arrogant. No redeeming feature whatsoever.

I'm glad you all like the story so far

While I don't have a novel length story in mind, I agree that the world has a lot of possibilities. And I'm think of exploring some of those in other, separate, chapters later. Gotta get through Mike's story first though.

Well written, but..

Liked the chapters alot, up till this one.
Well written, but the story..
Kid was smart but now it just got thrown out the window, kid was cool n calm, but now thrown out the window. The kid is high. And I got no sympathy left for him.
The suit should just put a sniper on him and be done with it.

Sorry, wont follow more after this. =/
But well written...

This could take a while

You have the beginnings of a profitable novel here. Chapter length is about right. Plotline just oozes possibilities. I look forward to the next confrontation, perhaps with a bit of Dominance thrown in as Mike exerts his strength.

A first for me.

I have had an account on this site for almost nine years, and have lurked it for many more, and this is the very first story I have ever marked as a favorite.

Using time travel as the literary device for a mind control story is brilliant and places this outside the realm of "just" erotica and into a world with Gibson or Dick. I am so serious...This is a great story.

Each chapter moves the characters forward by showing you how he went back to "fix" her until she was where he wanted her to be. Beautiful and scary at the same time.

For me, what makes this a true mind control story is her lack of free will in the situation. I think I found it in the right category, and I am glad to have read this...

P.S. I thought your movie reference was cute and not out of place at all!

Amazing story

I really do hope that you get it published.. nicely written and very different from what I am used to reading,..though I would have liked the females to have bit more spunk and not to give in to his charms so easily..anyways its a good story..five stars from my side :)

Editor???

This sometimes feels like it was written by someone who is just learning English, so I end up doing the editing on the fly - imagining the way the author meant it... But it would be so much better if I didn't have to interrupt the story by trying to figure out what the author meant to say...

I agree with the others...

Great story, but you need an editor. Because the story is so good, I gave it five stars for many of these segments. But still, you need an editor.

Legs and garters are delicious.

Now I'm having fantasies about my wife meeting Kathleen or Denise and being taught about the last line of the story.

Finish

Please finish these stories. Both have great potential and I am enjoying them.

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