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Latest 15 Reader Comments

This is good stuff if a little short on length. But it is such good stuff I hope to see more soon.

Would love a follow up

Please continue

Great setup. I'm interested to see what Linda becomes considering she's taking the treatment so well and it all seems to be building towards something big for the owner. Adding the son will be interesting. Maybe desire for his mother will get him to straighten up and fly right.

:)

Good, but confusing. The language is a little vague, so it's unclear what's happening when. In other words, clarify clarify clarify! Don't use it, try using she, or they.
Also, details! If this is a mind control story, go more in depth with the actual hypnotism. And what is the waitress feeling? Sure, she wants to make everyone cum (which is a little sexist of you, honestly), but what does being ganbanged feel like to her?

Good piece, hope more comes.

I read a lot of your work and something I would like to see is the main character have a problem in his plan. Like one girls will power is strong enough to break the drug he has made. Just a personal preference

Wow!

I really hope this story is continued. I want to read more about the nerd getting even with those that have wronged him all his life.

when the nex chapter camming?

its one of the best, when the next chapter is camming?

Noble T, you are a fantastic wordsmith. The plot, tempo, characters and even the grammar and syntax are all great. Thank you for entertaining us. If you go pro please leave a comment in your bio here.

I liked it!

I REALLY liked your story, and was crushed when I realized that there were not any more chapters. Its the start of a great story.

Liked it quite a bit

Hot story. The thing that took me out of the story was the short paragraphs. It seems like most of them were one sentence except the spoken parts, and it made it feel a little choppy. That's format though, which is a lot easier to fix than lack of talent, which is what most of the anon posters suffer from. :)

great

woot! demon saga to follow :)
so far demon:2 angel:0 ;)

Future chapters, scores to settle

Great story again!

1)Bitch sister submits. Check!
2)Sisters friends submits. Pending
3)Sisters boyfriend pays. Pending
4)Boss and collegues submits. Pending
5)Mom pays for years of having bitch sister ill treat son and not do anything about it. Pending (sooo looking forward to this one)

Yes i would definitely say you got your work cut out for you J :) Lots of chapters to look forward to.

LOVE THE STORY
5 STARS

Not the ending.

Hello folks.

I've dropped in to let you all know that this is not the end of these characters. The story will pick up in a new series called 'Celestial Corruption'.

I've looked through the comments, and I am touched by the appreciation and support just a day after posting.

Look for more stories from me coming this year.

NT

The end?

I hope to find out what kind of demons they become ;)

Still a very good story.

Greetings and thanks,
R2

Ending...

I liked the flow of the story, the character development, but I felt cheated with how the story ended. A few questions were left unanswered, plot between the sisters ended abruptly, I hope that there is some kind of epilogue or a continuation of the story in the same world.

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